Puberty isn’t just about periods and pimples - it’s a total brain renovation. If your emotions feel like a rollercoaster, or the smallest thing (like a weird look in class) sends you spiralling, you’re not being dramatic. You're being rewired.
To help us understand what’s actually going on inside our heads during these intense years, we spoke to Tara Ghosh, a Hormone Health Educator who works with teens and adults to make sense of puberty, hormones, and emotional wellbeing. Her mission? To bring honesty, clarity, and compassion to the conversation around growing up - and what’s really going on in the brain.
Why does everything feel so intense during puberty - from emotions to friendships to tiny things like a weird look in class?
Let’s start with the emotional part, because it’s usually the loudest. You might feel like your mood swings are wild, or like you're overreacting to everything. But Tara says there’s more going on than “just hormones” - and that’s something adults often forget.
Tara says:
“While most adults are quick to blame teen’s moods on their hormones, it’s more about the brain changes due to the hormones which brings on the intense emotions. Our hormone levels aren’t wildly different during puberty than in other times in our lives, but what is new is the brain is reacting and being moulded by the flood of hormones.
Also, the teen years are naturally a time when friends and what other people think of you matter acutely, and as adults we need to remember that feeling socially excluded or judged as a teen is the same as physical pain.”
What changes are happening in the brain during puberty, and how do those changes affect things like decision-making, risk-taking, or even self-esteem?
Now we get into the science-y stuff - but in a way that actually makes sense. Tara breaks down the clash happening inside your brain: the emotional part is speeding ahead, while the logical part is still catching up.
Tara explains:
“There is a whole reorganisation of the brain during puberty. The part of the brain responsible for reasoning, calm decision making and your self-esteem is the prefrontal cortex and it’s still developing, in fact it’s the last part of the brain to be ready.While, on the other hand, the limbic system, which controls emotions and reward is highly active during the teen years.
So we have a big power imbalance between the prefrontal cortex not being online yet and limbic system running the show which can lead to questionable decisions being made and intensify their emotional reactions, in particular with their self-esteem.”
Sleep, focus, motivation - why do these things suddenly get so much harder during the teen years?
If you’re exhausted, distracted, or just can’t get motivated to do anything, you’re not lazy - and you’re not alone. Tara pulls back the curtain on what’s messing with your focus (spoiler: it’s not just TikTok).
Tara shares:
“One of the biggest reasons is that there is so much damn stuff going on in a teen’s life, it’s all pulling on their attention and time. They’ve got school work, friendship dynamics, perhaps the blossoming of romance, hobbies, sports, without us even starting with the demands (and endless distraction) of life online. The list goes on!Also, a key part of feeling focused and motivated during the day, and sleeping well at night, is steady bloody sugar which starts with a good protein breakfast, and regular healthy meals. Many kids unfortunately don’t have access to this, and are often living off junk food and Red Bull.”
What can teens (and their parents or teachers) do to support emotional regulation - without it feeling like a lecture or a punishment?
Now for the good stuff - what actually helps. Tara gives two powerful, real-life tools anyone can use to feel more in control of their emotions, without lectures, punishments, or pretending everything’s fine.
Tara says:
“There’s two things that really help. Firstly, us adults need to model our own emotional regulation as far as we can (and yes that’s hard!). Even simply starting with naming how you feel and, if you can stretch it, naming what you need, is a great way to start.
For example, ‘I feel tired today, I would appreciate help preparing the dinner.’ Or ‘I am really noise sensitive, could everyone keep it down this evening?’
This is the ‘name it to tame it’ approach which helps us regulate our emotions and by us setting this example, we give permission to the young people in our life to do the same.Second thing, I joke that as society we’ve agreed that there is a social contract that we all brush our teeth twice a day, and I feel we need that level of commitment and importance given to us doing something every day which calms our nervous system. Yes, it’s that important!
Whether that is lying down when you come home from school or work, closing your eyes to listen to a relaxing song for 5 mins. Or spending 5 mins of your bus ride home daydreaming out the window, rather than scrolling. Playing the piano or doing mindful colouring for 10 mins before dinner.
Experiment and find a daily habit which makes your body feel safe and relaxed. These small pockets of calming practice ripple out to how we can regulate our emotions throughout the day.”
What’s one thing you wish every teen knew about their brain - and one thing you wish every adult remembered about it?
And finally, we asked Tara to give us one truth for teens, and one reminder for the grownups in their lives. Her answer? Patience, compassion, and a whole lot more time than we think.
Tara says:
“Tell everyone you know that we don’t have our adult brain until our mid 20s, in fact a recent study suggests it could even be as late as 32. So teens and their caregivers need to have lots of compassion and patience with each other!”
Final Thoughts
Puberty isn’t just a phase -it’s a neurological overhaul. If things feel big, intense, or all over the place, that’s not a flaw in your personality - it’s a feature of your developing brain.
Big thanks to Tara Ghosh for bringing clarity and kindness to a topic that’s so often misunderstood. Want to learn more about her work? Check out taraghosh.com for courses, coaching, and free resources to support your hormonal journey—no matter what stage you’re in.
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